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  That evening my companions talked about going back to Shahi Mohalla. I asked to go along to see about formally exploring it as a possible area for my research. Everyone agreed and the four of us returned to the bazaar.

  The nighttime environment of the Shahi Mohalla was quite different from what we saw during the day. More crowded, there were mostly men in the streets. It was alive, with well-lit shops and little boys running around selling flowers and pan (betel leaves). Like everyone else, we started out on foot. The 20-foot wide streets were big enough for all the pedestrians. A few cars occasionally cruised the streets, but the heavy afternoon traffic was gone. I noticed that the buildings’ ground floor rooms were, oddly, about three to four feet above street level, and directly approachable by a short flight of steps. Sometimes the steps led to a platform or a short sidewalk running in front of a row of such houses.

  As we strolled down the streets we saw well-dressed women in these rooms, looking as if they were sitting in their living rooms: living rooms lacking the front walls, however. These rooms had wide open doors, covered either by a sheer curtain or woven bamboo. Well-lighted, the rooms’ interiors could be easily seen. Most women sat on the floor in the middle of their room, and a few sat on sofas. In some rooms, musicians were lined up behind the women. Most of the women wore silky shalwar kamiz. Women in one ‘shop’ were much more exotically dressed in long gowns and Middle Eastern headgear -- golden caps hung with strands of beads. They looked like they’d walked off a movie set.

  Higher up, heavily made-up women in bright clothes bent over their balconies. Their shops were on the next floor of the buildings and they would peep out, smile, and point at men strolling on the street, trying to get their attention before disappearing back into their rooms.

  These rooms, on both floors, were like shop display windows with living merchandise. The customers took their time, looking carefully into each window. The names of the area went around in my mind: bazaar-e-husn -- the market of beauty, and heera mandi -- market of diamonds. It really was a market, with the product fully displayed and the customers wandering about deciding what to buy.

  Small boys and a few men moved about in the crowd providing change in one, five and ten rupee notes. They provided this service so the customers could throw money at the dancers, an old tradition and the polite way to show appreciation for a dance or a song.

  I recognized that the rooms were, in fact, kotha, from their depiction in so many South Asian films. In films, a customer often mounts a flight of stairs into such a room to watch a dance performance. The word kotha literally means the upper story. In Punjabi, it can also refer to the rooftop, a multipurpose living space, or even simply a mud house.

  We were in town for the basant festival and I probably appeared somewhat dressed up. Many men on the street apparently assumed I was a local woman who had left her room. The customers scanned me from head to toe, but no one touched me or tried to harass me. All three of my male companions walked close to me, protectively. After a while I felt quite comfortable and experienced a sensation of openness that is hard to explain.

  We selected a room where two women were sitting. I was attracted to them because of their ghungroo (ankle bells). This meant that they were dancers, not just singers. Interested in dance myself, I wanted to see a dance performance. As we entered the room, the two women quickly rose and greeted us in a very hospitable manner. A young boy swiftly shut the large, folding doors behind us. My friends told me that the practice is to entertain one customer (or one 'party') at a time to avoid fights between the customers during the performance.

  The room was carpeted, with a chandni (white sheet) on top of the carpet and tube pillows on the sides. Three musicians, playing tabla, harmonium and dholak were seated inside, along with an older woman and a small boy of about twelve. The room was about twelve by fifteen feet in size.

  Uxi Mufti satisfied the curiosity of those in the room about seeing a woman with the customers by saying that I had come from the United States and wanted to see dancing. After we sat down we were offered tea which we refused. We were asked what we wanted to hear -- "Ki suno ge?" One of my companions replied, “Anything in Punjabi”. The women started a Punjabi song and danced to the music the musicians played.

  Their voices were coarse and they sang a Punjabi film song quite crudely. The music was loud and both dancers made a lot of noise with their ghungroos. They danced in typical film style, amplifying the sexual gestures. Both dancers focused on one member of the audience at a time. They stared straight into his eyes and make seductive gestures that were obviously devoid of any feeling. The dancers kept at it until they got vail (money) from the person. Then they switched to someone else. They noticed that when they came near me and focused their gestures on me, the others all gave them vail on my behalf. Astute professionals that they were, they repeated this manoeuvre again and again to get as much money as possible in the shortest time. I realized this was part of their art. After all, other potential customers were out on the street and their time was precious. In a very proficient manner, they quickly dried up our resources and managed to move us out smoothly.

  We had made a tactical mistake by sending the little boy for change after we sat down. This let our hosts know how much money we planned to spend on them. We only changed five hundred rupees and we did not seem to be regular customers who would seek other services after the performance. Thus, after we had given away a little over five hundred rupees, the dancers said they had received some guests in the other room and really had to visit them.

  They stopped dancing and said good-bye. When I said I wanted to talk to them, they told me their names and said they would tell me whatever I asked about if I visited them during the day, not during their "office hours". The government allows them to perform only from eleven to one o'clock at night, so these are called their "office hours" and the kotha is referred to as an affis (office). They did not want to waste more time on people like us, who were not real customers, but just tourists.

  I immediately decided to explore this phenomenon more and to look into the lives of these women who form such a contradictory, unacceptable, and yet so permanent part of our society. I designed a proposal for a descriptive study of Shahi Mohalla, with the goal of exploring different aspects of the area. Shahi Mohalla has become something of a myth for the rest of our society, and represents an extreme example of women as a commodity whose role is to provide pleasure for men. I wanted to conduct my study objectively, however, without any negative bias or pre-judged moral stance.

  My interest in this area stems from two aspects of own background and training. I wanted to learn about the cultural side, to document the musical traditions and the relationship of the area with the performing arts of our society. I also wanted to use a feminist perspective to help understand the women who worked as prostitutes and in the related business. With these intentions I submitted my research proposal to my institute.

  Before I could really get started, however, I ran straight into a bureaucratic brick wall that I did not even know existed.

  3

  A Ph.D. GIRL IN THE RED LIGHT AREA

  Of all the adverse reactions I experienced and all the hurdles people placed before me as I was conducting my research, one day stands out most clearly. The Secretary of the Ministry of Culture, about to dismiss me from my job with the Government of Pakistan, had summoned me to defend myself. The Ministry had learned of my study of Lahore’s red light district, the infamous Shahi Mohalla, and the senior bureaucrats were furious. I couldn’t believe that my seemingly benign research topic had so shaken the Government bureaucracy, but they could apparently not tolerate a female Government officer going to such a taboo area, especially if she intended to write about it. They must have feared possible political repercussions. I never imagined the magnitude of the reaction and had no idea that any senior officials could have a stake in my study.

  I got out of the official car Lok Virsa had provided and looked at the tall buildings around me. I was in the Secretariat in Islamabad, the nerve centre of the Government of Pakistan located in a quiet corner of the city that most Pakistanis never see. I had been working for over a year at Lok Virsa, an agency attached to the Ministry of Culture. I lived and worked in Islamabad, but I had not been to this area before. I entered one of the buildings with a huge stack of files in my hands and a tote bag full of documents on my shoulder. I asked the security guard whether I was in the right Ministry. Looking curiously at my load of papers, he nodded and told me the elevator was out of order and that I’d have to take the stairs. A smile flickered under his heavy black moustache. Mounting the stairs, flanked by cold, bare marble walls, I became increasingly uncomfortable. I was angry and disappointed, but somehow, still believed that I could explain the situation to the Secretary.

  At the time, I was working as a Deputy Director for Research at Lok Virsa, an institute that documents Pakistan’s traditional culture: the material artifacts, musical traditions, tales, legends and other aspects of folklore. A few months earlier I had submitted two research proposals as part of my section's annual work plan. I proposed exploring Pakistan's traditional performing arts and particularly their connection with women's roles in Pakistani society.

  Women's roles in traditional Pakistani entertainment businesses have always intrigued me. The first proposal was connected to the traditional theatre, specifically Women in Folk Theatre, semi-nomadic theatre groups that travelled from village to village providing entertainment to the local populations.

  I also wanted to explore the origins of the singers and musicians Lok Virsa takes such great pains to record. Thus, my second study proposed to describe the performing arts of Lahore's Shahi Mohalla, home to many of the popular performing artists of Pakistan. Until recent times the South Asian notion of red light districts has been somewhat different from most other countries. The arts of music, song and dance are closely entwined with the profession of prostitution. These areas have deep roots in South Asia’s traditional culture. Over the centuries, they have enjoyed a well-defined position in society; equally renowned for their arts as well as for sexual services. Throughout the region, these areas have been the most fertile sources for producing new performing artists.

  Both these proposals were scrutinized by my colleagues and the Institute’s Executive Director. The Director recalled that it was he who had first taken me to the Shahi Mohalla a few months earlier. After asking me several questions about my research methods, the sample frame and time period, he concluded that the study would be a good addition to Lok Virsa's knowledge base and encouraged me to submit a formal research proposal to the Institute.

  A few weeks after submitting my proposal, however, my immediate supervisor informed me that out of our entire proposed work plan, the Ministry had rejected only my Shahi Mohalla proposal. I was very surprised. Although new in the Institute, I’d been told that the Ministry didn’t interfere with Lok Virsa's programs, that the Executive Director was responsible for designing and carrying out the programs. No one in the Institute could, or would, officially answer my questions about why my proposal had been rejected. I only heard a few joking remarks about its rejection during tea breaks.

  Many of my colleagues, all men, took their breaks at a nearby khokha (tea and snack stall), surrounded by large trees and lush green foliage. This was often the most creative time of our day when, amid roars of laughter, new ideas for video productions and research projects were developed and discussed, performances for archival documentation were planned, and partnerships were established. It was in those informal sessions that I learned my study had been rejected because it hit too close to home. The bureaucrats were nervous. "Why?" I asked, innocently, "When artists from the Mohalla come to Lok Virsa they are praised to the sky."

  At the time, Lok Virsa was video recording the Great Masters in Pakistani Music. I was very pleased to be a part of this work, which involved in-depth interviews of the musicians.

  These interviews provided invaluable information about their art, training, performance, family background and many other significant aspects of their lives. Through these interviews, I learned that most of the master musicians were, in one way or another, linked to the Shahi Mohalla. I wanted to contribute to what we were learning by further researching the area and their interaction with other performers living there. Besides, I knew that South Asia’s traditional red light districts have their own peculiar culture, which could help me understand the link between professional prostitution and the performing arts.

  Lok Virsa typically organizes a lavish evening event for each singer and musician who comes to be recorded. Often the artists produce impressive performances during these sessions and are afterwards decked with garlands and given tributes for their contribution to Pakistani music. I had attended many of these sessions long before I joined the Institute. Now, however, mentioning Shahi Mohalla, where most of the artists were born or groomed, seemingly scared the bureaucrats. I argued with my friends and colleagues about this sanctimonious attitude. Why could not the place that produced these artists be acknowledged? The social taboos associated with the area made some sense since people generally connected the Mohalla with prostitution more than with music. But I persisted: how can a cultural institute that works to preserve the heritage of all Pakistani artists and promotes traditional music refuse to acknowledge that the country’s 'Shahi Mohallas are also fertile grounds for producing musicians and singers? Did they fear I would uncover secret links between the Mohalla and the State itself? Refusing to submit to the hypocrisy, I decided to pursue my research on my own, without Institute funding or support.

  The Ministry had approved my research proposal for the study of Folk Theatre so I started my research in Lahore, about 300 kilometres from Islamabad. I told my Director that while working there, I would also begin making contacts and identifying some informants for my study on the Mohalla. I told him I planned to do that research later, on a strictly personal basis.

  I immediately set off on a short trip to set the stage for my study of women in folk theatre. While identifying my key theatre informants, I found that many of them also had close links to the Shahi Mohalla and I visited some of them there. One day, shortly after returning from Lahore, a group of reporters from the popular English language newspaper, The Daily Pakistan Observer appeared in my office. They had heard about my most recent expedition to the Shahi Mohalla and were quite intrigued by the topic. They asked me questions and I answered happily, not knowing that being open and straightforward was the last tactic one should use with the press when working in a bureaucracy. Everything should be said in such a round about way that it not only sounds meaningless, but also can never backfire on you. Moreover, I didn’t know that government workers should not even talk to journalists directly. I should have informed a senior colleague. As soon as I saw how excited the journalists were with the subject, I told them the study of the Mohalla was not an official Lok Virsa project, but something I was doing on my own. They quickly agreed to interview me in my personal capacity, and satisfied, I continued the interview as a professional researcher.

  The next day, I was at home when my father came in looking intensely at a newspaper he was carrying in his hand. He walked up to me with a puzzled look and asked, "Is this you, my daughter?" Glancing at the paper I saw a big picture of myself on the front page under the banner headline: "Ph.D. Girl in Red Light Area". I was shocked by this attention, especially in such a light. My father looked again and again at the picture, his eyes widening each time. I laughed sheepishly and nodded, "It seems that way." He opened the paper and there I was again, in different poses captioned with highlighted quotes. The article covered an entire page. No reader could possibly miss it.

  I quickly ran to my mother thinking I should tell her myself before she got the shock of her life. After I told them about the journalists coming to my office, they were satisfied, or at least I wanted to think so. Quite liberal, my parents had come to expect crazy things from me. Being impetuous gives you freedom some times.

  During a long talk with my parents later that evening I expressed my feelings about the Institute’s hypocrisy. Although they both agreed on the importance of studying the Mohalla since most people knew about it only through myths and legends, they were at the same time concerned with how I would do it. Not only had they internalized the myth that any woman going there could be kidnapped and forced into prostitution, they were also afraid of the organized crime linked to the area. Little did they know that the greatest reaction against my going there would come not from pimps or gangsters, who are already labelled "bad people", but from Pakistani society’s "good people", specifically the “civilized and cultured” people in our national bureaucracy?

  Before I had a chance to return to Lahore to continue data collection for the traditional theatre study, I learned that the newspaper article had created hell in the corridors of the bureaucracy. To my dismay, the Director threw the entire blame on me. Many parallel political issues were revolving within the Institute. I had recently returned from the USA after eight years of university education; this was my first real job and my initial encounter with the national bureaucracy. I had no clue about the political implications of my actions. I knew only that I was continuing my work on a personal basis and that no one had told me to stop.